ADHD!!!!! and the monotony of editing.

“you are a photographer?! that’s so cool! it must be such an amazing job!!”

yeaaaaaaa….. sometimes. the majority of the time, i sit right here. on this computer. EDITING until my eyes BLEED.

sitting here in my pjs at noon on a thursday…with my cold cup of coffee, half eaten omelette, all sorts of xhd’s…card reader… cords … envelopes with notes i’ve jotted down about this and that, my phone that’s notifying me every 30sec of something and a bra i guess i took off at some point yesterday because i found it oppressive…

this part, isn’t “cool.”  the thing is, if you are a full time photographer… chances are you totally get this! perhaps this is what your desk looks like too. please tell me i’m not alone in this. how do you handle it?

today, i want to run away. i have project after project to get done and clients waiting. the pressure i put on myself is a little intense. i guess that goes with any job. what They don’t seem to tell you about is the physicality of this job. my hand, arm and shoulder ache all the time just from editing. (i know, i know, have someone else do it…. i can’t, i’m a control freak.) my body… hurts from shooting… i always joke about shooting a wedding that it’s actually just a full day of doing squats.

They also don’t tell you how lonely it is. so you listen to music, you watch movies, you take breaks, you talk to your dog while you wait for things to render. you get lost on the interwebs…  all and all it’s just lonely.  then you start looking at other photographers… you know, just to see what’s going on with them, maybe it’s their edit day too and you will chat for bit. however, you dont get that far, you just start looking at their AMAZING work and see all the great jobs their are getting. the work that they are doing and you switch back to your editing. UGH why isn’t my work as good as theirs???!!!!! the downward spiral begins.

my adhd doesn’t like this part of the job, at all. i wish i were out in nature today. maybe i can go tomorrow, heh, who am i kidding. instead i should bathe while i want for this batch to render out.

 

 

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6 thoughts on “ADHD!!!!! and the monotony of editing.

  1. Ha! Wedding and squats, I get that. I shot one band’s set last weekend at Snoqualmie Days. It took some creative framing because they were in a big unlighted tent, behind which was an Airstream trailer. Those things are super shiny, ya know? So I shot and shot (I always tell myself to just shoot the first 3 songs, that’s enough… but I get to having a good time and nobody else is hogging the space, so keep at it – and suddenly I have 700 shots, each in raw and jpg to look at.). I was dehydrated and sore.

    Yesterday I was at yoga for the first time since our little car accident a month ago. I mentioned that my feet were really sore.and the instructor asked why, and i had to describe the crazy contortions I had to get into to shoot these guys. She sorta nodded and grinned, knowing that I’m half crazy anyway.

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  2. While I dont have ADHD, I can relate to the state of your desk. I don’t use XHDs any longer, but find the online backup a better fix. Still, the control freak in me still burns a disk of everything and saves it on spindle after spindle. The notes, well, they are cataloged in a filing cabinet once they make a nice paper layer over my whole giant desk….I call it the “Idea Box”. I strongly dislike sitting still. Sometimes I edit while standing, dancing….I wonder if my disheveled afternoon hair and dirty pjs make my neighbors think I am some sort of addict…well I am…isn’t that what a workaholic is? Someone who cannot stop no matter the pain, bleeding eyeballs, stress….we cannot stop. We don’t want to.

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    1. so awesome!!!!!!!!! i just bathed. i feel a little better. but the MOUNTAIN of work is still there.

      i like this “idea box” you sound like you are organized. i should take lessons from you.

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  3. Googled “adhd photographer” and your blog popped up… and then realized that Hey — I know you! You’re swae!

    Had no idea you have adhd. I was diagnosed a few years ago but have suffered from it my entire life. It’s tough. School was a nightmare, entrepreneurship a blessing and a curse. Depressing sometimes. I was on Ritalin for 6 months and it was like a new world; I often wonder why I stopped using it.

    You do wonderful work! You’re easily in my category of “Photogs whose work is great but I can’t look at it too much or else I start to hate my own.” So keep bleeding and living and photographing and stuff. 🙂

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